Why 'Optimisation' can feel like Perfectionism in a different outfit

I was recently quoted in Marie Claire in an article exploring our growing obsession with optimisation. The discussion centred on a trend that many of us will recognise. The idea that we should always be improving ourselves in some way.

Becoming more productive, more effective, more successful, fitter, healthier, wealthier, wiser. Better colleagues, parents, partners, children and friends.

The idea here is that we all 'should' be on a journey of continual optimisation, improving different aspects of our lives. It's almost as if workplace productivity and wellness had some kind of hybrid lovechild.

And all of this fits seamlessly into a society that relentlessly measures and tracks its productivity, then shares and compares it with those around us. It can feel as if we are giving ourselves KPIs for how we live our lives. On the surface, this doesn't sound like a problem. After all, what's wrong with wanting to grow?

The appeal of optimisation

It's useful to have goals. It can be motivating to challenge ourselves, learn new things and step outside our comfort zone. In some ways, the fact that optimisation now includes wellbeing means we are paying more attention to our minds and bodies, rather than focusing solely on traditional measures of success.

There can also be a sense of control that comes from planning, measuring and tracking progress. In a world that often feels uncertain, having something tangible to work towards can feel reassuring. So I don't think the desire to grow is the problem. The difficulty lies elsewhere.

When optimisation becomes perfectionism

For me, optimisation can sometimes feel like perfectionism in a different outfit.

The challenge with striving for optimisation, or perfection by another name, is that it's never truly attainable.

There is always another habit to build. Another routine to perfect. Another book to read. Another metric to improve. Another way we could be doing life better.

And because there is no finish line, we can end up feeling frustrated or dissatisfied no matter how much progress we've made.

Or worse, we can start to feel ashamed and self-critical.

The idea of optimisation encourages us to link our self-esteem with the act of being productive. Of trying harder. Of continually improving. That's when something that started as a healthy aspiration can begin to feel more like a compulsion. A constant search for a different version of ourselves. One that is calmer, more successful, more disciplined or somehow more worthy than the person we are today.

Why optimisation culture appeals to so many of us

I don't think it's a coincidence that optimisation culture is particularly appealing to people who already feel as though something about them is not enough.

Beneath the surface, many of us carry a persistent feeling that we should be coping better, achieving more or somehow doing life differently.

Optimisation culture speaks directly to those fears. It offers a never-ending list of things to do that promise happiness, confidence or fulfilment somewhere further down the road. The message is subtle but powerful:

"If you can just improve yourself a little more, you'll finally feel okay."

The problem is that this rarely works. Because what we are often searching for isn't another productivity system or wellness routine. It's a different relationship with ourselves.

The influence of social media

Much of our understanding of how we "should" be living now comes from what we see online. Routines, habits, goals, and hacks - all perfectly curated. But shaped by comparison. We can find ourselves pursuing goals that matter deeply to somebody else while losing sight of what matters to us. And when we inevitably struggle to live up to these impossible standards, we tend to blame ourselves rather than questioning the standards.

Perhaps the answer lies somewhere in the middle

I don't think the solution is to stop growing, learning or developing. Human beings naturally want to evolve. We want to learn, create, connect and make meaning from our lives. But I do think we are becoming more aware of the costs of relentless self-improvement.

We are seeing the impact that perfectionism, stress and burnout can have on our wellbeing. We are beginning to recognise that optimisation isn't necessarily the path to happiness. Or at least that it isn't a one-size-fits-all approach. Perhaps there is a difference between growing because we are curious about who we might become and striving because we believe we are not enough as we are.

In some ways, this conversation reminds me of the concept of 'self-actualisation', first described by Abraham Maslow and later developed within person-centred therapy. The idea is not that we need to force ourselves towards growth. It's that human beings naturally grow and develop when the conditions around them are right. A bit like a plant. We don't make a plant grow by pulling harder on its leaves.

We create the conditions it needs. And maybe that's the part that we should all be thinking about.

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