I was recently quoted in Marie Claire in an article exploring our growing obsession with optimisation. The discussion centred on a trend that many of us will recognise. The idea that we should always be improving ourselves in some way. Becoming more productive, more effective, more successful, fitter, healthier, wealthier, wiser. Better colleagues, parents, partners, children and friends. The idea here is that we all 'should' be on a journey of continual optimisation, impro

Many of us learn about attachment theory during our core training. We learn about attachment styles, and we can often describe attachment concepts well enough to write an essay, discuss it in supervision, or explain it to a client. But something that I've noticed - having undertaken further training in attachment - is that many therapists still find themselves wondering how to actually recognise attachment in the room. How to think about safety, security, co-regulation, and

I think many people imagine that training to become a therapist is mostly about reading books, learning theories, and writing essays. And of course, that is part of it. But it is only part of the picture. Training to be a therapist is also deeply personal. In many ways, it is unlike most other professional training because it asks you to turn inwards, as well as towards the work itself. It involves years of reflection, self-awareness, challenge, and ongoing learning. And it'

I’m delighted to be hosting an online conversation with psychotherapist, ecopsychotherapist and author Alix Hearn to celebrate the release of her new book, Places of Safety: How Attachment Shapes Our Parenting. The event takes place online on 8th June at 7pm, and will be a discussion about attachment, parenting, emotional wellbeing, and the wider systems that shape the way we relate to ourselves and to each other. What drew me to Alix’s work is the way that she writes about a

'You can’t pour from an empty cup'. It’s one of those phrases many of us know well. A reminder that we need to look after ourselves too. That we need to put on our own oxygen mask before we can care for everyone else around us. And that is absolutely true. But sometimes I think that phrases like this can miss a really important point. Most of us know what we need. How we might spend a day if we could really rest and recover and restore ourselves. The part that's often

We give and receive feedback all day long. There's the formal feedback that we might think of in the workplace or at school. But our day is filled with micro-moments of feedback. Comments, questions, the way that someone looks at us. The assumptions that we make about what someone is thinking - even if they haven't said anything at all. And something that I often notice, is that different 'parts' of us can become activated when we receive feedback. Let me explain. When

Anxiety is at the heart of what brings to so many of us to therapy. Sometimes it's loud and in the forefront of our minds. And sometimes it's something that just sits quietly in the background. A mind that doesn’t switch off. A constant undercurrent of worry. Lying awake at night. Obsessively checking our messages. Struggling to say no. I'm delighted to share that I'll be speaking to Josh Fletcher all about this in an upcoming webinar, at 7pm on 6th May 2026. Josh is

I’ve recently been asked to comment for The Mirror on sibling dynamics , particularly in families where one adult child stays closely connected while another steps back. What often surprises people is not the fact that families argue and fall out with each other. But the confusion that can follow. The fact that different siblings who grew up in the same family respond so differently to the same parents, the same events, and the same tensions. And why this difference can s

You might cope well during the day. You get things done. You show up. You hold everything together. And then night comes ... The house goes quiet. The lights go out. And suddenly your mind feels louder than ever. Nighttime anxiety is something I’m asked about a lot, both in my therapy work and more recently in the media. It’s a topic I’ve spoken about with The Times (click here to read the article) , because for many people this is a very real and very lonely experience. It o

Starting therapy is a big decision. Some people arrive with a clear issue they want to talk about. Others feel anxious, overwhelmed or a bit lost, and simply know they want life to feel easier than it does right now. And there are a huge number of therapists out there, practising different types of therapy. I'm an attachment-based therapist, and I love what I do. I'm often asked what it actually means to be 'attachment-based', so I thought I'd put together an overview. You c

I am excited to share that I've created a free guide, all about attachment theory. This is an area of specialism for me - I'm an attachment-based specialist, and a course tutor on an attachment course for therapists. This free guide is designed to help you make sense of your patterns in relationships and friendships Most of us go through life without ever being taught why we feel, think and relate in the ways that we do. We tell ourselves that we are being too sensitive, to

In those early days of a relationship, it can feel as though the rest of the world fades away and the spotlight shines firmly on the new person in our life. It’s an exciting time — full of closeness and new experiences. So it’s little wonder that our routines change in ways we barely notice, especially when it comes to how we eat and look after ourselves. I recently spoke to the BBC Good Food team about this very topic. We explored why falling in love can lead us towards mor

When we are in a relationship, we often thinking ahead to the future. Imagining ourselves as a couple, living our lives together. But when happens when a relationship has run its course? I spoke to The i Paper for an article all about the red flags that we might ignore - and why . The tricky thing about red flags is that they are not always obvious. Sometimes it's just the small, subtle things that make a difference. There's a twinge of a gut feeling that tells us somet

Last night I was invited onto ITV News to talk about relationships. The focus was on the rise in AI companions. These are chatbots created by tech companies, designed to offer friendship, companionship, and relationships to people who might be feeling lonely, isolated, or simply in need of something different in terms of interaction. It's a topic that I find frightening and fascinating in equal measure.

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This week, I was invited by the BACP to take part in their Positive Steps campaign – all about mental health for new mums . As a...