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Writer's pictureGeorgina Sturmer

The 5:1 ratio - Is this the key to a happy relationship?

Ever wondered if there’s a mathematical formula for a healthy, happy relationship?  I spoke to a journalist at iNews all about the idea of the '5:1 ratio' for this piece.


The concept of the 5:1 Love Ratio stems from the idea (developed by research from the Gottman Institute) that in a stable relationship we will offer our partners at least five ‘positive interactions’ for every ’negative interaction’. 


Gottman offers a list of interactions that would be considered positive. These include:

🔸being interested

🔸expressing affection

🔸demonstrating that your partner matters

🔸 showing intentional appreciation

🔸finding opportunities for agreement

🔸showing empathy


It’s not about a specific prescribed set of tasks. 

It’s about authentic communication, knowing our partner, and offering them what they need. 

If you’re curious to learn more about this research you can find out more here.


My key takeaways?

🔹It’s a useful approach to help us all to think more about how we treat each other. 

🔹It’s important not to necessarily get bogged down in the numbers involved, or in becoming competitive about it. 

🔹It’s also helpful for us to think more widely about how we treat those around us. About all our interactions on a daily basis. Including the way that we look after ourselves, and the way that we feel about ourselves. 


Keen to explore more? In counselling we can take a deeper look at how you feel about yourself, and your relationships with those around you. Click here to contact me, or click here to book a 30-minute introductory call.






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