When is a Window more powerful than a Mirror? The 'Johari Window' and self-awareness

When is a window more powerful than a mirror? We often think about 'looking in a mirror' in order to understand ourselves better. This might involve expressing ourselves creatively, or talking it out. But the thing about a mirror, is that it only shows us what we expect to see. A mirror can't show us what we have missed, what is hidden, or what is waiting to be seen. So sometimes, what we really need is a window into our selves.

That's where the Johari Window comes in. In this blog I'll explain what it is (spoiler alert - it's not named after someone called Johari) and how we can use it to learn more about ourselves. I like this concept because it encourages us to think about how we see ourselves and how others see us. This can be helpful in understanding our relationships, and building our self-esteem.

What is the Johari Window?

Created in 1955 by psychologists Joseph Luft and Harrington Ingham, the 'Johari Window' (the name is simply an amalgamation of their two first names, Jo and Hari) is a model for understanding ourselves. What we know, and what we don't.

The Johari Window divides self-awareness into four areas:

• Open Self – Known to both you and others (e.g. your sense of humour, work ethic).

• Hidden Self – Known to you, but not shared with others (e.g. fears, insecurities).

• Blind Self – Known to others, but not to you (e.g. tone of voice, leadership qualities).

• Unknown Self – Unknown to everyone — often explored through therapy or deep reflection.

The Johari Window - a tool for self-awareness

What is the point of understanding the Johari Window? How can it help me develop my self-awareness?

The aim of understanding these four areas is to expand the 'Open Self'. At first glance, it might not be clear how it will be helpful to simply be able to plot a few emotions on a diagram. But this is all about becoming more aware of who we are. How we see ourselves. And how others see us. This can help us to be more authentic in our relationships. And most importantly, it can encourage us to be kinder to ourselves, building our self-esteem and reducing negative thoughts or internal criticism.

So how can we use the Johari Window to learn more about ourselves?

Understanding the concept of the Johari Window is the first step here. Even just knowing that there are different parts of ourselves - open, blind, hidden, and unknown - can get us started in some self-reflection.

And then? This is where feedback and honest conversation comes in. When someone offers you feedback, eg 'You’re more confident than you think' or 'You always put others first', you start to uncover your Blind Self. This isn't always easy, especially for those who struggle with people-pleasing. If you tend to suppress your needs, or prioritise other people's needs, you might have developed a narrow version of yourself — one focused on being 'good' or 'easy to like'. If you tend to criticise or sabotage yourself, it might not be easy to hear constructive or positive feedback from others. Understanding the Johari Window can help us to be curious and open to feedback, which in turn can allow us to understand our blind spots.

If you're keen to give it a try, click here to check out an online Johari Window tool. It allows you to ask for feedback in order to build your own personalised Johari Window.

Over time, this can change the way that we receive feedback. It's not just about learning what we are 'doing wrong', it's also about seeing the positive, affirming things that other people see in us. This can have a real, positive impact on our self-esteem.

How to use the Johari Window on your own

You can also use the Johari Window by yourself. It’s a great journaling tool or reflection prompt. Here's how:

1. The Open Self

Ask yourself: What do I know about myself that others seem to agree with?

Maybe you're reliable, always punctual, or thoughtful with your friends.

2. The Hidden Self

Ask yourself: What do I keep private?

Maybe you feel like an imposter, or you are often anxious but hide it from others.

Why do I need to keep this hidden?

3. The Blind Self

Ask yourself: What have other people told me about myself that I found surprising?

Maybe you come across as more confident or self-assured than you had realised.

4. The Unknown Self

Ask yourself: Are there behaviours or patterns in my life that I don't fully understand?

This quadrant of the window is more complex. It's hard to know the 'unknown'. Often we hide our emotional needs from ourselves. The more we reflect, the more we gently move things from 'unknown' into 'known', and this is how we grow.

More window, less mirror - developing self-awareness

So, when is a window more powerful than a mirror? It's when you feel ready to learn something new about yourself. The Johari Window reminds us that self-awareness doesn't happen in isolation. It comes from our relationships, from reflection, from the feedback that we receive from others, and the feedback that we give ourselves. So next time you find yourself stuck in the same old patterns and habits, don’t just look in the mirror. Open a window instead.

Want to explore your patterns of behaviour more deeply?

Feel free to get in touch with me or book a 30-minute introductory call to start your journey of self-awareness.