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  • Writer's pictureGeorgina Sturmer

Coping with ghosting: What to do if you get ghosted on the first date

I spoke to Heartwiseadvice.com for their series offering bite-sized advice on matters of the heart. They asked me to reflect on coping with 'ghosting', when one party ends a relationship without warning or explanation. Dating can be hard, and being on the receiving end of ghosting can trigger all kinds of difficult feelings. Here are some tips for what to do if you get ghosted on the first date:


Notice what you're feeling. Ghosting can be so hard because it's a combination of rejection and uncertainty. If we don't know why we have been rejected, then it leaves us questioning or blaming ourselves. These are natural responses, and it's worth noticing it, rather than trying to push it away.


Explore how it makes you feel about yourself. Maybe you're feeling embarrassed, disappointment, frustration or anger. This can creep into our own feelings about ourself, and our confidence. Remind yourself that it's not your fault, and that you don't deserve to be treated this way.

Learn to live with the uncertainty. Unfortunately, we can't control or predict how other people will think, feel or act. This can make dating an uneasy tightrope walk. And if you've been ghosted, it might be tempting to pull up the drawbridge and give up hope. But uncertainty is part of life, and part of being vulnerable and open to new experiences. Consider how you can continue to feel optimistic about dating, while also acknowledging the risk that you might get hurt or become disappointed.

Lean on your support network, call the people who can help you


Keen to explore more? In counselling we can take a deeper look at your relationships with those around you. Click here to contact me, or click here to book a 30-minute introductory call.


Click here to view the original article on Heartwiseadvice.com



Coping with ghosting: What to do if you get ghosted on the first date

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